Today I want to unpack the confusing messages that we send to our own psyches as well as to each other. Socially as we relate to each other as friends, spouses, and relatives some people send what I call confusing messages. I'm not talking about being dishonest or telling a lie. I'm not talking about saying one thing and doing another (although that is closely related). And to be very clear I'm not talking about those of us that are malleable. A malleable person is simply adaptable and can make adjustments to suit the needs of their relative, spouse, or a friend. I'm talking about a psyche that is absolutely confused, a mental state of claiming to be one thing, behaving like another thing, and exhibiting the traits of a third thing, ALL AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!!
We all know people like this, and we tolerate or ignore their behavior, we excuse it by saying “that's just who they are”. But never unpacking and taking the time to discuss with them that they exhibit a personality of a completely confused person.
Let me be even more clear of what I'm not talking about. I'm not talking about someone with a proclivity or a habit or an addiction. A person that has the habit of telling lies or using narcotics or cheating habitually are all very bad traits, and they are behaviors that need to be fixed and avoided at all costs. But those are just simply people with problems, I'm talking about people with MONSTERS!
A Rat that Behaves like a Dog
I'm talking about the type of woman that proudly claims herself to be a queen, proclaims her love for the men of her race, and proclaims how sleeping with a married man is repugnant to her. While on the same evening of these proclamations she will drive home Intoxicated from alcohol to a House of children she left alone and call a very much married man to come over to her home with her children present to participate in illicit (sometimes unprotected) sexual activity with her Knowing he has a family at home. She is an accomplice in his reckless behavior to irrevocably destroy his family. The next morning, she will debase that same man over the phone with her friends, verbally berating him. While the secretions of his sweat and essence is still attached to her very naked body, she loudly expounds the popular phrase “Where are all the good men”!
HIDING FROM HER ASS, THAT’S WHERE!
But the more important question is where was THE QUEEN last night? You know, THE QUEEN that hates adultery (but is a regular accomplice of it), THE QUEEN that loves the men of her race (yet wallows in the enjoyment to subdue and control those same men to the detriment of their own lives and families), THE QUEEN that protects her children (but allows them to be left alone, witness strangers come over their home, while listening to an intoxicated QUEEN moan and groan in the room next door until the stranger leaves. THIS IS A CONFUSING MESSAGE!
Let’s allow the queen to rest on her scepter awhile and let us give notice to the Independent and educated woman that CAN NOT and WILL NOT date a man that doesn’t make twice the amount she makes.” ( YET GOES HOME AND HAS SEX WITH SEVERAL MEN ON ROTATION, ALL OF WHICH MAKE HALF WHAT SHE MAKES! )
She is essentially (through her behavior) Telling a man that he can have sex with her, but he must make more money if he wants a relationship with her.
!!NEWS FLASH LADIES!!,
They only want sex anyway, at least from you……WHERE IS THAT COLLEGE DEGREE WHEN YOU NEED IT?
Telling a man that he can have sex with you, but he must make more money if he wants to be in a relationship with you, is like telling a fat kid that he can eat chocolate cake, but he'll have to do his homework if he wants to eat those Brussels sprouts… THAT HOMEWORK WILL NEVER GET DONE!
The Dog That Purrs like a Cat
But it’s not just the ladies that send confusing messages, I'm talking about the type of male (not man) that encourages the building of his family while in the presence of other men and community pillars, while simultaneously spending his family’s savings and future income (by using credit cards) to wine and dine women, strange women at that with vacations, dinners, fancy hotels and even apartments and automobiles. How could this MALE build his family when he is tearing it down the entire time month after month, year after year... Take note men don’t do this but males often do, amongst other things.
I'm also talking about mothers! THAT’S RIGHT, MAYBE YOUR MOMMA. Mothers that tell their daughters to get their own money, stuff, and cars and not to depend on a man for anything. While simultaneously the mother is in negotiations with a man that She doesn't love in an attempt to get him to buy her a new car. That's such a confusing message to send to your own daughter as well as to your own psyche.
The point here is that some people behave as if they are characters in a movie. But this is not a movie, this is real life, this is not a movie nor a music video. Take the rapper Rick Ross for example. Now I personally have nothing against Rick Ross. He hails from the same city that I was born and raised in and I'm happy for his success as an entertainer. Because he is just that, an entertainer. In that entertainment he spends his time, talent, and tenacity describing a world that is filled with closets piled high of cocaine kilos, dangerous drug trafficking adventures, authorities tapping his phone and following him constantly, all while evading death from his pressing enemies and consistently clutching automatic weapons as a form of aggressive masculine protection over the cocaine kingdom that he has built from scratch.
FACTS: THE REAL RICK ROSS WAS A DECORATED CORRECTIONAL OFFICER, doing his best to provide for his family the best way he knew how LEGALLY! Apparently having an amazing prowess with words, he worked his way to become a rap artist of the 21st century. He doesn’t sell betty white (slang for cocaine); he sells music 20% of the time, the other 80%, he’s selling LIFESTYLE, FANTASY, DREAMS, AND EMOTIONAL FEELINGS distributed through speakers, earphones, and airwaves.
I don't care if he was selling lemon pepper wings, he's an entertainer and he's doing a good job at entertaining the masses. But when those shades come off and the music stops, he's a regular person. And if he walked this earth saying that he was one thing doing the completely opposite thing while portraying a third thing, people would call him crazy, or maybe they’d just called him Kanye, I’m not sure.
A Rat that Behaves like a Dog and Purrs like a Cat
The point is these people epitomize the word inconsistent. In fact, the only consistent thing about them is that they are inconsistent. They show themselves to us all the time and again we excuse their behavior perhaps because of their status or their level of relation to us but I think it is high time that we pay attention, and we see things for what they actually are.
So, the next time you see the person that you’ve been thinking of while reading this article, and you witness their behavior once again in all its music video splendor,
ask yourself this question while starring directly at them:
if I saw a rat that acted like a dog and purred like a cat, would I invite it over my house for dinner? or entertain it with conversation? marry it? sleep with it?
And if I did, knowing what it was, exactly what does that make me?
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